Arguments kind of have a bad connotation. It’s the verbal altercation that we often try to dodge, eventually realizing that it is unavoidable. But our therapist Michael Heath says arguments can actually be a good thing. Michael says an argument can be a great venting mechanism for couples.
Many people avoid argument out of fear of entering a screaming battle. Michael gave us a few suggestions to avoid a verbal boxing match while expressing your feelings.
First think before bringing up the argument. Michael says many arguments stem from impulsive emotions, which can lead to a nasty exchange of words. Instead take a second to breathe and gather your thoughts. Arguments should be planned, giving both partners a chance to translate their impulsive words into language that clearly and respectively articulates what they want to say.
Planning your conversation in advance should help with emotion control. Belittling your partner will never help a relationship. If you are the recipient of a verbal attack Michael says you can use the statements as empowerment stating that “the nastier the comment that comes from a person the weaker they feel.” He says if you know the person is using such language because of personal weakness you can have sympathy for them as oppose to anger.
Lastly it’s important to note that having a sit down does not mean things will always go your way. Michael reminds couples to be realistic. Compromise is key in every relationship so be prepared to give and take at the end of your friendly chat.
