Love and marriage, a recap of research in 2012

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Updated: 12/27/2012 11:54 pm
Syracuse (WSYR-TV) -- There’s a whole new view on saying “I do.” The Huffington Post has gathered studies about love and marriage and what it looks like now, compared to the past.

Let’s take a look at three Central New York couples in different stages -- the daters, newlyweds, and a couple celebrating 50 years together.

We asked, "Who is likely to live longer: married or single couples? They all agree.

“Definitely married people, because they have something to live for. They live for each other,” said Heather Davis and Stephen Mahallow who have been dating for the past four months.

They're right, according to one report released earlier this year.

However, experts warn a bad union can be lethal. Another 2012 study asked: Who drinks more, single or married women?

Paul Berrafato, who’s been married for 50 years says married women drink more.

When asked “Why,” he said, “She’s got to put up with me. She’s got to put up with her husband.” His wife Joan agreed.

They're right according to that study.

What about little fights? Do they help a relationship?

“You let yourself go. You talk about the truth. You tell each other how you feel,” Paul said. “And you don’t need a therapist,” Joan continued.

Marriage Counselor Theressa McMorris agrees, as long as the bickering is done right, with healthy conversation and efforts to resolve the conflict.

“It is necessary. Couples and relationships have to have fights because you have to negotiate differences and on another level, it also releases tension,” explained McMorris.

“We've had little fights. I think the biggest thing we talk about is communicating. Continue to communicate and talk and get through it,” said another couple who have been married for one year.

It takes time to catch on. That's why Australian researchers wondered, "Is the honeymoon phase a myth?

They found couples are better off after 12-months of marriage.

“The honeymoon myth is that we are going to be blissfully happy, but unfortunately, those expectations are so high that often we can't meet them,” said McMorris.

McMorris said social media is an emerging concern in her office. Technology is presenting new challenges in marriage, ranging from online affairs to obsessions with gaming. Joan and Paul Berrafato say the key is to keep loving your partner.
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